People cant download off me unless they are in my friends list

Hi, its been about a year since i retried soulseek qt, my previous issue one that is still happening with the latest version, Is i can search and download of otheer people fine, apparently they can pick up files of mine in there seaches, but can not download from me, i have tried without port forwarding and this issue remians the same, i have reset my router same still, i have port forwarded and still the issue remains the same. i keep seeing the same thing all the time, (username) connection refused. QT states its successfull in mapping the port in all cases. it has to be because im sharing over 240.000 files, and if i share just music im still over 155,000 files, and the issue still exists! any idea whats going on ? the old version works fine but its a lot hard on my harddrives becasue it read shared files from scratch were QT is a lot quicker . Mick